boy girl boy
by quailtail69
Summary: A potion for a potion. A gender for a gender. A mix up in a devious plot to end a hero will leave the whole magical word in chaos and... love? Harry shall become the dream girl he was meant to be.


Quailtail bids the good day….

Borgi says run for your life

Kinks says it could be worse

They all agree that we don't own Harry potter or any of its character or plot… if we did much would happen and the world would probable end.

So says quailtail

Borgi says you still have a chance if you run fast enough

Kinks says you should just get on with the story

Boy Girl Boy

For plots sake mister Malfoy, or mister lusty as I fondly call him, had for some unknown reason that we hear at broken smiles do not like to ponder (unless thoroughly drunk and bored at the same time (which is never since drunkenness cancels boredom out and we don't like to drink)) ordered a gender changing potion (he denies this until the day he dies) which some how got mixed up with a brutal deadly poison meant for poor innocent gullible Harry potter.

Now it's understood that nothing "harmful" can pass the wards at his "loving" residence but no one ever warded against gifts and that's exactly what he got on his sixteenth birthday.

Malfoy's plan was great, the best, so conning not even Mr. holier-then-then-holy, high and mighty, greatest of greats in this time, headmaster could ever plan to counter.

Harry picked up the package that simply read: happy birthday dearest… Harry. And had smiley faces all over it.

Harry picked up the package opening it cautiously, after all his birthday was 2 days ago and he only had like 4 friends since he had his "fan" mail sent to a fake address (there was a kindly hermit somewhere in the middle of NoWhere AirBanks who made his living off the paper (good for everything from clothes to fuel), chocolate, and money from that mail) he shouldn't be getting anymore gifts. Inside he found a bottle of cola, glow-in-the-dark green cola…… called sweetdemise.

"hummmmmmm…….. Yeah not drinking that"

He turned over the bottle finding the Malfoy crest on the bottom.

"…………. Yeah this never happened"

Harry quickly got rid of all the evidence and pretended that the last five minutes of his life never happened. That is, until the choked on brownies sent by Tonks as a hope-you-feel-better-even-though-your-godfather-died-and-its-all-your-fault gift.

"Tanks..-cough-.. Tonks!" Harry wheezed as he choked to death on the love filled brownies of death.

Thinking fast Harry grabbed the first thing that came to his hand and drank hoping to dislodge the horrible, but oh so good, brownie.

"Finally!" breathed Harry as he felt sweet air enter his longs.

"But these are good!" Harry grabbed another brownie and proceeded to cram it down his throat. He nearly choked again as a pain erupted throughout his body a thousand times worse then the so called pain curse. He looked down at his hand where he nearly crushed the glass from all the pain he was in.

"Ah, fudge" and then he passed out.

An empty bottle of sweetdemise rolled away.

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Harry woke feeling… different. Yeah different, he shrugged away his feelings of foreboding noticing he was outside at the park down the street. That was confusing to him since his last memory was of being in his room eating brownies.

"oh well"

Harry walked back to the house where he had to knock since he didn't own a key to his so called home. Petunia opened the door and blinked in surprise.

"Can I help you" she asked politely.

Harry got that bad feeling again

"Sorry I sorta don't know how I got out here can I come in?" he asked, now feeling a little nervous. Maybe he should listen to himself for once.

"Oh, you poor dear those of course you can come in don't worry will figure out what happened and we have two strong hansom men to protect us here!" Petunia said then giggled in a highly friendly way, as if sharing a joke with Harry.

"But first, you simply must tell me your name!"

Harry stared, completely bewildered and speechless; he briefly wondered if Tonks slipped something in those brownies. It would make sense since she was trying to cheer him up. But she was like police officer wasn't she?

"I'm.. er…" Harry struggled to comprehend his current situation.

"You're Err?" Petunia's eyes practically lit up.

"What an exotic name you must be someone important from an important place!" Petunia giggled again.

"What" Harry really never understood his aunt, but this was just something completely… he didn't even know.

"Well where are you from?" Petunia asked hopefully.

"Um…" Harry's mind collapsed. Maybe he died choking on that brownie and he jumped to a different plane of existence?

"So you're Err from Umm?" Petunia said in aw completely delighted that she managed to make such fast friends with such an important person. Harry finally snapped if he was hallucinating or dead he could do whatever he wanted.

"Yes Petunia I'm Err from Umm now if your done being an idiot-"

"Well good now that we have that taken care of" Petunia said happily plan forming behind her welcoming smile.

"You simply must come in and meet my family!" she finally opened the door and gestured like a good host for Harry to enter. Harry sincerely doubted he should but he went in anyway.

"Please wait here" she practically ran from the room going to change into something more presentable to play matchmaker for her son and that beautiful girl standing in her living room.

Harry stood not knowing what to do or what she was playing at. He caught a glimpse of a mirror and froze. Looking back at him was a green eyed girl. A girl that had a large chest, small waist and a great butt. Her hair was long, curly and untamable giving off that, just had a roll in the hay and gonna do it again want to come with? Look. Her skin was lightly tanned and unblemished that matched perfectly with her kissable pouty lips and large sweet doe like green eyes. That girl was breathtakingly beautiful.

Harry had that foreboding feeling again. He raised his arm and watched as the girl waved back and mirrored his every move (much more sexy when she did it though).

Harry remembered the bottle.

"Oh fudge" Harry said before fainting straight back into oblivion.

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Quailtail feels that it went well

Borgi says she needs to get out more

Kinks wants to know if was good for you

They would all appreciate a review then they will continue to write


End file.
